Start where you are

Day 10 of Dr. Moo’s juice program. Hey, I am still doing it. Have I wanted to throw in the towel? Absolutely!!! Throughout the days, at different moments, the whining in my head starts. Poor thing. Poor Kristi. Seriously, that is what happens. I listen, for a bit and then get to choose………hmmm is that true or not. Usually, in my head, I tell a lot of lies. I lie about what I feel like, I lie about what I think I know, I lie about what other’s know. Because, when it comes down to the truth, the truth is ….I don’t know. Facts do matter. So, move a muscle change a thought. Little by slowly, with just one breath, I can change things with moving the muscle of my brain. I can actually change my reality to be different than it was only a moment before. The trick is taking that breath. Sounds easy. Yet often I can not even take that first deep breath. Why Kristi, why is this? Well you see, I often like to wallow in the lies and comfort that they bring me. If I wallow there for long enough those lies, become reality. So easy, no. Doable, yes. It takes that wonderful fight going on in my head and the acknowledgment of that. I do have power. I can change it. If, and only if I choose it. To be in the moment, to enjoy the moment. To let go. In the moment. What happens? A new moment. Yes, this is an endless job. But if I don’t do it. Who will? Maybe there is a pill, or a drug, or a drink, a shot, that could heal this. Maybe, but from some bad experience all of those solutions come with some pretty gnarly side effects. Healing is happening!! Not Amazon like (as fast as we can get it.) Slowly…things are changing. Swelling around my eyes is diminishing. I put on my tennis shoes and they are not as tight. I am sleeping better, not perfect, but better. My aches and pains in different areas come and go. Weird things are still coming out of my skin in different areas. I am staying in the moment. If you read my introduction, you know that I am at a place that may seem hopeless. On the facts of life, that may be the truth. But see, nothing is hopeless, no one, not any situation, not any challenge that we face in life is hopeless. The key is…Hope is free. I do have hope. I do have faith in that. If I can hold that truth, then I have won. When fear rears it’s ugly head. I can grab that fear in one hand and my faith in the other and say, “Ok, let’s go.” Faith doesn’t mean you don’t have fear. Faith simply means you have the courage to walk through it. So, for today, I am willing to make this life my biatch! Kissing it on the lips and walking through today…….Staying in it.